"Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered" Proverbs 22:24
"A friend loves at all times, And a brother is born for adversity." Proverbs 17:17
"The righteous choose their friends carefully, but the way of the wicked leads them astray." Proverbs 12:26
"Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends." John 15:13
"One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother." Proverbs 18:24
The two biggest points the Bible makes regarding friendship are pretty much: 1) Choose your friends wisely and 2) Friendship is the same as love. If we're going to be good friends, we're going to have to understand how to be loving. So let's look at the most famous biblical definition of love, the one from I Corinthians 13:
"Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with truth; bears all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails."
Wow. This might be one of the most incredible verses in the entire Bible. Ya know, society gives us a really messed up picture of love. Love isn't some magical feeling you get when you see someone attractive. Love isn't two good-looking actors making out. It isn't gushy like a "love song" or corny like a greeting card. Real love is the love that Christ had for all of us. He was patient, kind, humble, and good. He was unselfish, slow to anger, forgiving, and strong. Jesus never failed and never will.
The word "Christian" literally translated means "Little Christ." Living a Christian life means making Jesus your ultimate role-model. In order to be good friend, you have to love your friends the same way Jesus loved you. Sometimes loving your friends isn't easy. People back stab and gossip and lie. When you get tempted to lash back and get even, read I Corinthians 13:4-8 again. You're not obligated to "hang out" with anyone you don't want to (we need to be wise about choosing our friends,) however, you are obligated to love.
It's very easy to base friendships solely on the fact that the two of you have fun hanging out together or both like the same video games or both have the same kind of humor. That's great, but friendship should be so much deeper than just enjoying someone's company. If you're really someone's friend, you'll be there for them when they need you. Real friends take each other out to ice-cream when they've been dumped by a boyfriend or girlfriend. Real friends sit and listen when one is feeling emotional and in need of a shoulder to cry on. It's easy to be a hangout friend. It takes effort and a whole lot of love and patience to be a shoulder-to-cry-on friend. When it comes down to it, the shoulder-to-cry-on friends are really the only ones you want. Those are the kind that show real love.
I'll leave off with my favorite non-Biblical friendship quote of all time:
"Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down." --Oprah Winfrey
In the comments, feel free to respond to any (or all) of the discussion questions below. Or, just give your thoughts on the topic overall!
- What's your favorite verse regarding friendship and why? It can be one of ones I mentioned above, or a different Bible verse about friendship.
- How does someone prove themselves to be a true friend? What do you look for in a friend?
- Without naming any names, tell us about a time when a friend became hard to love. How did you deal with the situation?
